Impatient.

I've always had a habit of getting way too ahead of myself. Pulling out cookies before they've fully baked, bought an expensive dress when i was fully aware that it would have been on sale the next day, giving my family their christmas presents a week before christmas and always thinking the worst of a situation before it's unfolded. Okay so alot of those examples were because i lack patience but you get the gist.

The same goes with life right now. I can't just let it be. I have to push things, and take them to their limit so it can be done quickly. I am pushing through my life. I don't know what im pushing for or if there will come a day when i will go 'this is what i have been hooning through life for' but i am sure that i need to stop.

Stop and smell the damn roses.


~ Rhey.

Lounging.

Wow. Have I been slack on the blogging front!

It was my first day back at work today after my week long lounge session and I am exhausted. Because, you know, lazing around can really take it out of you... ugh. Despite the laziness it was actually a very crazy week. A town about an hour west from here had extreme flash flooding, and because all of the rivers are connected, communities were wiped out from the sheer force of the water. In the centre of our town is a river with shopping centers and train stations and hundreds of businesses on the banks. Needless to sat those banks broke and the water rised metres and metres into peoples homes and workplaces, destroying anything in it's path. Thankfully enough for me I live on a hill out of harms way but there were thousands of people left homeless because of this. They say it is one if the worst natural disasters in the history of australia... yes, that bad.

So I was driving around documenting this devastation for record keeping purposes in the hope that it would be the only time I witness it in my life. It was beyond crazy.

~ Rhey.

Nearly Birthday.

It's been a while...

I have been sick these past few days so there was no blogging. I was hoping the lead up to my birthday would have been much more pleasant, but alas, life has been the bitch she always is.

Im making it better by having a massage, a tan and a trip to the hairdressers so i look smokiiiin' for my party tomorrow night. Which reminds me, i'm twenty one tomorrow... twenty-fricken-one!? Next thing you know i'll be engaged and married and popping out sweet, sweeeet milky babies (which is not something i'm dreading, unlike my age).

My mother keeps adding in every conversation 'rheyanan your not a child anymore, your an adult!' and it's a sad realisation that i can no longer play with that beautiful pink victorian dollhouse that i always admire in our local homewares shop without looking like a freak. I can't get away with wearing nothing but undies whilst running through the sprinkler in summer, i cant even blame things on my siblings, because i don't live with them anymore. But with the end of that phase in my life comes promise for a new, exciting chapter which i have never experienced.

~ Rhey.

Some more About Me.

You and me click blog. I feel as though you are my best friend, a comrade, a non-judgemental listener. And because of this feeling, i am going to share. Share until i have nothing left.

My full name is Rheyanan-lee Stevens. It means 'white witch' in welsh and is pronounced 'rhee-an-an'. Alot of people with unusual names despise them but I love mine. I understand how hard it must have been for my parents to choose a name for their first born, and they did a bang up job of it too.

In 3 days, 74 hours, and 4453 minutes i will turn twenty-one. An age that i believe has ended an era. An age where i know i will be making goals for the next decade, goals as an adult.

My family mean the upmost importance to me. I would kill for them. After years of being an angst filled teenager and hating on them, i am doing everything in my power right now to love them for the lost time. They know that i love them, and that i am sorry, which is what means most.

My father is an amazing man. He was born into an unconventional family of five with no ideals and many secrets. His childhood was not the best, but he has truly stripped any hatred or feelings holding him back that he might have had from that time. From what i've heard my father was a dorky mess of a child, who most, wouldnt think he would make it through life. He met my mother as a teenager, and although i dont know the complete story, i can see the love he has for her. He would have been the type of guy who would follow you around, annoucing their love for you in front of crowds, because you meant that much (reminds me of a certain love i have now ). They have been married for 20 years and their relationship has shown me how to truly love. My father is the smartest person i have ever met.He is profound and inspiring, and pushes me to be the absolute best that i can be. He knows when i am settling and tells me that i shouldnt be. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, and i love him with every inch of my being, ten times over.

My mother is the stronghold. She has only ever held one paying job, but has had a million jobs raising us kids. She has been the mentor, the teacher, the healer and the advice giver. She constantly proves to me that women dont need to have jobs to be successful and have fulfillment in their lives. Through the years during our rough patch i never gave up the one attribute i hope to gain from her... i hope to be even half the mother she is. When i look at myself today i wonder if she knows how well of a job she did with us, i wonder if she is proud, cos hell, she has succeeded. I feel nothing but pure love for that woman.

With parents like these, there is no reason for me to strive to be anything but the best.

I am currently living in a 3 bedroom post-war home with gardens out front and back, lovely lemon paint all over and quaint old push out windows. I live with the love of my life zebb, whom i have been romantically attached to for seven years, the second love of my life my baby kitten harlow, James our school friend, and just recently his girlfriend and her kitten mia. We have lived in this house for a year and a half after our previouse house burnt down... but thats a whole other story. James and Amy have just found out that they are pregnant and will be moving out within the coming months, which means zebb and i will be looking for a house of our own. Bliss!

This has felt so refreshing. I think i may make a habit of this!

~ Rhey.

Our New Years... published five days late.

This is pretty much the only photo taken of me all night, i was running amuck, fun was to be had. Enjoy my embarrassingly huge widows peak and not very attractive scrunched up face. Oh and i was cooking a barbecue in my best '50s housewife apron!


Noone understands this photo. It's okay, because i don't either. I was scrolling through the photos and there is one exactly the same with our good friend ashley's foot?



Capturing a moment of insanity.



This would have to be my favourite photo of the night. Ashley has an application on his iphone which turns the camera flash into a strobe light, and this is what it looks like catpured on night mode with my nikon. Everyone's faces are priceeeeeleeeeesss!

We moved the coffee table from the middle of the room so we could have extra dance floor space. And James could not find those ciggarettes for hours.

Just after our barbecue feed. The BMW turned into a makeshift stereo!

~ Rhey.

Poem.

You are ice and fire,
the touch of you burns my hands like snow.
You are cold and flame.
You are the crimson of amaryllis,
the silver of moon touched magnolias.
When I am with you,
my heart is a frozen pond,
gleaming with agitated torches.

~ Rhey.

Stuck and Loving it.

Three days into 2011 and my mantra for life has already had a work out.

I am currently sitting in the shade waiting for a tow truck to arrive, and although it may sound like an undesirable situation to be in, I am reveling in the happiness that is the gold coast, a sunny day, sandy feet, real friends and the ocean breeze. If there's anywhere I would wanna break down it would be here. This years first hurdle and it is AWESOME! If this is a taste of what is to come I am going to have a toothy grin for the next 362 days.

'Fall in love with tiny things, everything' - A phrase from my Mantra.

I know I had promised the photo's from my drunken mess of a new years, but as I am using an iphone, and the iblogger app isn't up to speed with things, ill have to post them tomorrow! For now it's alot of enjoying the small things.

~ Rhey.